The Ninja Show
by Kyuunarusaku
Summary: The hit TV show where me and my inner selves interview ninja you vote on. Rated T for language.


Ryoka: Hello and welcome to our talk show!!! WHEEEE!!!!

Kai: Tch. Get on with it.

Ea: Oh just shut up, both of you. We need to introduce Kyuu and her new inner personality, Kiara. And we need a disclaimer too.

Ryo: RIGHT!! I almost forgot!!! Thanks for reminding us. Kyuunarusaku does not own Naruto or any of its characters. Unfortunately. And now, here's KIARA!

Kiara: And you guys actually put up with this?

Ea and Kai: Unfortunately.

Ryo: HEY! That's mean! Just because of that I am making one of you introduce Kyuu instead.

Kai: Hell no. It's YOUR job.

Ea: What makes you think I want to do your work for you?

Kiara: Well, I'm new. So I shouldn't have to. And don't even TRY to make me.

Ryo: FINE. –Mumbles something under her breath-

Ea: What was that?

Ryo: -sigh- I said…this is Kyuu.

-Swings in on a vine, before vine snaps and she falls on her butt. She gets up and dusts herself off before facing the others with a red face.-

Kyuu: Whew! I was thinking you guys would never introduce me.

Kai: Its Ryoka's fault again.

Kyuu: -sweatdrop- Should have known. –receives death glare from Ryo- Wow Ryo!! I didn't know you could glare! And here I thought the only emotion you were capable of was 'happy'.

Ryo: I ca-

Kiara: Shouldn't we get on with the show? I hate making people wait…

Kyuu: Right! Sorry about that! Ok, will you please introduce our guest, Ea?

Ea: Why do I have to??

Ryo: Ooh! Ooh!!! PICK ME!!!

Kyuu: Uhhh….riiight….ok you can do it Ryoka.

Ryo: Hooray! Alrighty, today's guest is famous! He's a Sannin! One of the greatest, most powerful shinobi there is! It's the almighty-

Ea: Ero-sennin!! My idol!!

-Jiraiya walks in, carrying a suspicious orange book.-

Ryo: -pouts- You interrupted me…I thought you didn't want to introduce him. –sticks tongue out at Ea-

Jiraiya: I am Jiraiya! The almighty Toad Sage! Bow before my awesome Sannin-ness!

Ea: Oh my gosh! –Bows- Your so great Ero-sennin!

Jiraiya: -twitches- Where did you hear that nickname…?

Ryo: My best friend Naruto told us!!! AWESOME HUH??!!

Jiraiya: -says quietly- I'm gonna kill that gaki…-clears throat and speaks louder- Is she always that hyper?

Kiara: Apparently she is, going by what the others told me earlier.

Kai: Hai, she's born that way I guess. Not that I really care.

Jiraiya: Err…right.

Kyuu: Anyways, what's that book you are holding, Ero-sennin?

Jiraiya: -flinches at the nickname- Actually, it's the newest version of the Icha Icha series! It's a special edition, too. Only twenty copies were ever made!

Ea: How much is it? –Pulls wad of cash out of pocket-

Jiraiya: This ones mine, but I think I have another back at the hotel I could sell to you at a discounted price…

Kiara: Ea, where did that money come from??

Ea: -Ehehe…funny story actually. You see-

Kiara: THAT'S MY MONEY BAKA!! COME HERE SO I CAN KILL YOU!! STUPID FRICKIN MONEY STEALING TEME!!!

-Ea screams like a girl and runs out of the building with Kiara following him-

Kyuu: And THAT'S why you never make a girl mad.

Ryo: That's not true! If you make me mad, all I do is sing!

Kai: And THAT'S even worse than making Kiara angry.

Ryo: Why than HEY! You made me angry!!!! –Starts singing blues clues theme song-

Kai: Gah! It burns!

Kyuu and Jiraiya: -sweatdrop-

Kyuu: Seeing as how everybody else seems a little busy right now, would you mind answering a few questions for everybody Ero-sennin?

Jiraiya: Alright, but only if you stop calling me that.

Kyuu: Nope! So here is the first question: What type of animals can you summon, and who is the boss summon?

Jiraiya: My summon is toads. You know! The 'Toad' Sage? Shouldn't be THAT hard to figure out.

Kyuu: ...

Jiraiya: Ahem Anyways…. I also let Naruto sign the contract, so he can summon them as well. The boss is Gamabunta. He does _not_ like being summoned a lot, and in order for him to even let you do it, you have to pass a test. Usually he just makes you hang on while he jumps around. But, since he's fifty feet tall, he can jump hundreds of feet into the air. It is NOT as easy as it sounds, believe me.

Kyuu: Sounds like fun. Can I sign the toad contract?

Jiraiya: Sorry, students only.

Kyuu: Damn. I really wanted to have a pet toad. –Pouts- Anyways its time for the next question! Who were your teammates and sensei when you were a genin?

Jiraiya: My sensei was actually Sarutobi, the Sandaime. He was a great and wise teacher. My teammates, who also became Sannin, were Tsunade and…..and Orochimaru. Tsunade was our team medic and eventually became one of the best. And Orochimaru…he was a lot to me like Sasuke is to Naruto. And, funnily enough the same thing happened to both of us.

Kyuu: What do you mean, 'the same thing'?

Jiraiya: Both of our rivals, that we considered friends on the inside, left us. And we both would give anything to change time and have them back.

Kyuu: That is so sad….

Kai: It is…

Kyuu: Wow, I almost forgot you guys were here!

Kai: Well, Kiara and Ea are still gone. But I never left. And neither did Ryo, unfortunately.

Ryo: Ano sa, ano sa! Isn't it time for intermission?

Kyuu: Oops! Almost forgot! Take a fifteen minute break everybody! This show is halfway over for today! And remember 'this fifteen minute break is for your mind and eyes to rest, because it isn't healthy to stare at a computer screen for more than twenty minutes without taking a break.' Sorry, required by some board of health or something to say that. See you in fifteen minutes!

Kai: You do realize that nobody is going to listen to you right? And since when is it required?

Kyuu: ….. -Sighs- your right…

Ryo: Yippee! That means the show must go on!

Ea: -comes bursting through doorway- Not without me it won't!

Kiara: -storms in through doorway-

Ea: Actually...uh…I suddenly remembered I have a…uh…doctor's appointment! Yeah! -Jumps out window-

Kiara: Hehe he is SO dead when I catch him… -follows out window-

Kyuu: Ummm…okay… so now that we are back to having no interruptio-

Ryo: I wanna play tag too! –Jumps out window after Kiara-

Kai: Mendokuse.

Kyuu: Wow. Anyways, since intermission should be over by now if you actually decided to listen, its time to tell you about a special feature that each show has! After each show you can vote for who should be in the next one by leaving a review. You can ALSO vote people off the show. Please have some mercy and vote off Ryoka!

Kai: Vote me off and I'll kill you.

Kyuu: Calm down Kai…no need to get sadistic. Nobody is that stupid…right?

Jiraiya: Can we get back to talking about the super famous Master Jiraiya now?

Kyuu: Oops. Almost forgot about you! Okay, time for the next question. How the hell can you stand to teach Naruto?!

Jiraiya: I guess you could say he reminds me of myself when I was young. You know, my team was a lot like his strangely enough…

Kyuu: Really? DO you think his team could become the Neo Sannin?

Jiraiya: Well, I think they could have. Before Sasuke left. Although you have to admit it is kind of strange how everybody on Team 7 got taught by a Sannin. Sakura got taught by Tsunade, Sasuke got taught by Orochimaru, and Naruto got taught by the best Sannin of all. Me!

Kyuu: Hmm, never thought about it that way before. Are you sure you are the best Sannin though? Let's have a contest to see! Bring in the Sannin. And keep ANBU close by in case Orochimaru tries anything funny.

-Orochimaru and Tsunade walk in accompanied by ANBU.-

Orochimaru: Kukuku…don't you trust me at all Kyuu? Have a little faith. Maybe I have changed for the better.

Tsunade: Bullshit. I'm gonna beat both of your asses. Orochimaru's for leaving and Jiraiya's for being a PERVERT!

Jiraiya: Oh no. I never remember any part of this show's contract saying I had to fight an angry Tsunade. Orochimaru I can contend with, but an angry slug princess…

Orochimaru: What happened to the 'great' Jiraiya? Lose you strength after all of these years? I didn't. Immortality is such a wonderful thing. You could join me you know…

Jiraiya: No way!

Tsunade: Enough talk! Get over here so I can beat the hell out of both of you! I'll show you what this angry 'slug princess' can do!

Jiraiya: This feels awkward to say…but Orochimaru, run! Save yourself! –Thinking _so I can beat you up myself later_-

Orochimaru: -laughs- No need for me to run my dear Jiraiya. For you see, I am immortal. And in case you are still the dobe you used to be, immortal means that you **can't die.** Which means that both of you should give up right now and surrender to my research. We could rule the world together! Snakes, slugs, and toads would strike fear in the hearts of all who oppose us! The Legendary Sannin all fighting as one…we would be unstoppable! We could live forever in a world that worshipped us and gave us our every need! We could-

Jiraiya: Quit going on about that Orochimaru. There is no 'we' anymore. Not since you left.

Orochimaru: Kukuku, it's your loss. But now you have to suffer!!

Tsunade: Bring it on Orochi-teme!

Jiraiya: -rushes to attack Orochimaru-

Orochimaru: -dodges and teleports onto roof-

-Tsunade and Jiraiya follow-

Kai: …

Kyuu: …

Kai and Kyuu: …weird.

Kyuu: Awww I want to watch them fight. Why did they have to leave?

Kai: Didn't Ea install those new security cameras on the roof last week?

Kyuu: Oh yeah! Everybody, please turn your attention to the tiny screen on the left. –Turns to look at said screen- Ouch, that has got to hurt….Look out! Jiraiya! Oh dear Tsunade looks angry now. Wait, no don't hit the- ! Never mind. Ow, just looking at that makes me flinch.

Kai: This is a lovely commentary you are giving but you do realize that this is all in writing and that the readers can't actually see the screen right?

Kyuu: Um. Of course. Right. I knew that.

Kai: -sweatdrop-

Kyuu: I really did! But that really is one heck of a fight you are missing out on.

Kai: Have you checked a clock lately?

Kyuu: Oh my gosh! It is almost midnight and I have school in the morning. Wow. This show is coming to a close for tonight I'm afraid!

Kai: Hn. Don't worry. She'll be back next time.

Kyuu: I sure will! Hope you enjoyed, and don't forget to vote!

_**Cue the ending jingle and credits.**_


End file.
